Admit You Want Me Page 12

  “Emma, wait a second.” My voice sounded pained even to my own ears.

  “What’s the matter?” she asked, playing with the hair behind my ears. Her voice was low and throaty. She kissed my throat and my cock ached, throbbing and desperate for her touch. She bit down gently on my neck, just a little nip, and I moaned.

  “This isn’t a good idea. You’re upset. More than I think you realize.”

  She pulled away and tugged the buttons on her shirt open, bearing her lacey, red bra for me. “Do I seem upset?” It took me a long, long time to rip my eyes away from her perfect, round tits. With great effort, I kept my hands on her waist.

  “No. I mean, yes. I--you’re too emotional at this second and I don’t want you to regret this later.”

  “You think I don’t want you?” She grabbed my hand and led it between her legs and down the front of her unzipped pants. Her matching red, lacy panties were soaking wet. Ready. She pushed her sweet pussy against my palm, grinding and looking for friction. My breath caught in my throat. “I want you,” she purred.

  “I want you too. I just think this is a bad idea.” It took all of my strength to choke out the words.

  “Are you seriously turning me down right now?” Her hands went for my belt, and I grabbed them.

  “You’ll thank me for turning you down when you’re back in your right mind. You said you don’t like casual hookups. That’s all I can offer you.”

  A flash of annoyance entered her eyes. “I know what I want.”

  “So do I. I don’t want to see you make an impulsive mistake your gonna’ regret just because someone said something mean to you.”

  Hurt and rejection were obvious in her eyes. She seemed to melt into herself and scrambled awkwardly back to her seat. I felt a thousand times worse. She righted her clothes and stared directly ahead like looking at me was too awful.

  “Emma?” I ventured.

  “Yeah?” She was still staring straight ahead.

  “Should I take you home now?”

  “Sure.” Her voice was expressionless. She’d closed down completely.

  The five-mile drive back to her apartment were the longest ten minutes of my entire life. I was so tense I was surprised I was able to drive. Emma was utterly silent throughout the drive. I knew that she was unhappy and hurt. I knew that she would be feeling rejected and deprived. I just didn’t know what to say or do about it.

  When we pulled up to her apartment, Emma shot me a look that hurt my heart and made my head ache.

  “Emma, I’m sorry—” I started to say, but she shook her head.

  “Don’t say anything,” she said. “You can’t make it any better. You’re only going to make it worse now if you pity me. If you’re really my friend, please just let me go.”

  I nodded.

  She didn’t say goodbye, she just ran. She was out of my truck and climbing the stairs faster than I thought she could move. I didn’t even have a chance to open the door for her, although I got the feeling it would be an unwelcome gesture.

  She probably hated me now. I couldn’t blame her. I watched her go and sat in the parking lot for a long, long time. I’d seriously fucked up, but I didn’t know what else I was supposed to do. Take advantage of her when she was upset? That would have been definitely, one hundred percent wrong. She’d been taken advantage of before, by Adam. I didn’t want to be like him. But I wanted Emma.

  I needed advice, and the only person who could give it to me was going to be seriously pissed off. Kate would not react well to me pursuing Emma. Reluctantly, I drove home. Alone.

  20

  Emma

  I woke up the next morning and had to talk myself into getting out of bed. I felt like I’d been hit with an emotional sledgehammer. Between Adam and Ward, I was just about to swear off men forever. I’d finally decided to hook up with Ward and he’d turned me down? What an asshole. My pride hurt from the rejection, even though I knew I’d be regretting sleeping with Ward right now if he hadn’t turned me down. The last thing I needed was to cry over Ward again.

  The only good thing about this day was that I didn’t have to see Ward. I took a long shower to try and clear my head and resolved to be productive. I would buy groceries. I hadn’t done that in a while and I could only mooch off of Lily for so long.

  A polite knock on my door interrupted my disconsolate hunt for shopping bags. I opened the door, squealed, and immediately tried to slam it. Ward edged a gigantic foot in before I could. Before I could stop him, he was standing in my living room like he owned the place. He was so big that he made my apartment look tiny.

  What the fuck?

  “Good morning to you, too.” His voice was amused, and I seriously wanted to murder him.

  “God dammit Ward. Why are you here?”

  “I’m here for two reasons.” He held up two fingers and I wanted to jab them into his eyes.

  He shouldn’t be here at all. “Shouldn’t you be working today?”

  “I called in sick.” According to Willie, Ward hadn’t missed a day of work or taken a vacation in almost three years. I didn’t know what to say.

  “Why are you here?” I finally managed to choke out.

  “I told you. Two reasons. Reasons worth calling in sick.”

  “Ok, I’m waiting.” I had both my hands on my hips and was tapping my foot impatiently. “What are your two reasons?”

  “The first is to offer myself to you. Sexually.” He smiled at me with the sort of smile that could make a nun rethink her vows. It wasn’t doing anything for me at the moment.

  “I’m sorry. You’re what?”

  “I’m here to fuck you. However you want me to, for as long as you want me to. If you still want me to, that is.” He seemed perfectly serious. I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Oh, you’re definitely fucking with me.”

  “No. I’m not. I’m really, really not. I realize that yesterday I was wrong and stupid to say no. You’re phenomenally hot, and if you’re still willing, I’m ready. So, let’s go. Where’s the bedroom?” He looked around curiously.

  “This isn’t funny, Ward.” I didn’t appreciate being made fun of. Yes, I’d been impulsive yesterday, and yes, it was a bad choice, but this was just plain mean.

  He pulled his shirt over his head. “I’m not joking.”

  I swallowed hard and my heart beat faster. “You’re making fun of me.”

  “Trust me, I’m totally serious.” He stepped closer to me and I retreated to the other side of the room. “I want you. Now.”

  “Stop it. You’ve made your point.”

  “I’m not here to make a point. I’m here to fuck you.” He pulled an entire box of condoms out of his pocket. “I came prepared, too. We can go all day.”

  “Gross. No. Too late. I’m not interested. You had your shot with me.”

  “So, you’re turning me down now?” He looked comically rejected.

  “Not just that. I’m throwing you out. Leave. Leave now.”

  “Are you sure?” He looked me up and down. “I promise I can make you scream.”

  “Maybe in disgust and horror.”

  “Hardly. I’m at your mercy here. I want you. Let me prove it to you.” He got down on his knees. “Please?”

  A little hysterical part of my brain was screaming that shirtless Ward was on his knees, begging to fuck me. I told it to shut the hell up.

  “No. Get out.” I was yelling. My hands were balled into fists at my sides.

  “That’s what I figured,” he said. His smile was knowing, and it made me even more upset. He got up and put his shirt back on and I bit back a pang of disappointment. “I knew you’d change your mind.”

  “I changed my mind because of what you did yesterday.”

  “Sure.”

  “You know what, I ought to thank you for turning me down. Because you’re disgusting. You’re probably diseased. You don’t deserve me.”

  “Yes, I’m sure that’s all true except for the diseased thing.
” He looked smug. “I get tested regularly.”

  One part of me said ‘gross’, while another filed the information under ‘good to know’.

  “Why are you still standing there? Leave.”

  “Oh, because I haven’t told you about reason two.”

  “Spit it out!” I was all out of patience.

  “I’m going to take you fishing.”

  My jaw went slack and I stared at him. “What?”

  “You, me. Going fishing.” He mimed a cast of an invisible fishing pole.

  “No.” I shook my head. “We are not.”

  “Yep. We definitely are.”

  Ward was pushing me to my absolute limit. I feared I was literally going insane. “Get out of my house.”

  “Ok. Just put on your shoes and we’ll go.”

  “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  “Yes, you are. We’re going fishing!”

  “Why the hell would I want to do that?”

  “Because you’re my friend and I want to help. I know for a fact that going fishing is the cure for a bad mood. And you, my friend, are in a terrible mood. Aren’t you?”

  No point in denying it. “You called in sick to take me fishing?”

  “I called in sick to fuck you. That was definitely my primary intention. But since you aren’t interested, yes, we’ll go fishing instead.”

  “I have plans,” I lied.

  “What?”

  “Grocery shopping.”

  “Grocery shopping?” He looked around at the bags I’d strewn about the living room. “Well guess what? We can get you some fish while we’re fishing.”

  “I don’t want any fish.”

  He shrugged. “We’ll throw them back then.”

  “It will hurt the fish.”

  “It doesn’t hurt them to be caught. They’re just fish. You know, you eat fish.”

  “I’ve got very important grocery shopping to do.”

  “Do you really want to go grocery shopping by yourself? Wouldn’t you rather go fishing with me?” He smiled at me sweetly, and my resistance wavered.

  I wanted to throw Ward out, but the part of me that wasn’t an immature, horny jerk realized what he was doing. He was honestly trying to cheer me up. He’d taken time off to cheer me up. That was nice. Bizarre, but nice. Infuriating, but nice.

  “I’ve never been fishing before in my life,” I stuttered.

  “I’ll teach you.” He grinned. “It’s gonna be really fun. I promise. It will put you in a better mood.”

  “You really took time off to go fishing with me?” Part of me really couldn’t believe it. Ward was nothing if not a workaholic. Kate had to force him to keep a regular schedule or he’d work seven days a week. It was only by her insistence that he took weekends.

  “I told you, the fishing thing was my fallback plan. Plan one was—”

  “Yes, yes. Fucking me. But you knew I wouldn’t agree to that.” I rolled my eyes at him.

  “A man can still dream. You haven’t changed your mind again have you? The offer stands.”

  “No. I don’t want to fuck you.” I want to strangle you. Sort of.

  “So, are we going fishing?” He looked at me expectantly.

  I could barely believe it. I shook my head and stared at him in disbelief. “Yeah. I guess we’re going fishing.”

  21

  Emma

  “This is a very nice boat,” I said loud enough to be heard over the noise of the engine. I was still looking around my new surroundings with interest. “It looks brand new.”

  I don’t know much about boats, but this one seemed fancy. It had a shiny blue and white paint job, white pleather seats, a nice shaded area to get out of the sun, and an engine that pushed us along the smooth surface of the lake fast enough to push my hair back like a dog sticking its head out the window.

  “I bought it a couple of years ago, but I feel like I never get a chance to use it,” Ward admitted. “It’s basically still new.”

  “So, what are you looking for?” I asked Ward as he slowed the engine to a putter.

  “It’s more of a feeling thing,” Ward said. “I’ll know when we get to the spot where the fish are.”

  I arched an eyebrow at him but said nothing. It sounded a bit farfetched, but maybe Ward did have a sixth sense for where the fish were. We’d find out soon enough. Eventually, he cut the engine and nodded like he was listening to something I couldn’t hear.

  “Yeah. Right here. I’ve got a good feeling about this spot.”

  “You’re the boss,” I told him with a shrug. “Now what do we do?”

  “Now we fish.” He looked at me like that should have been obvious to me.

  Ward showed me how to bait the hook, cast the line, and reel it back in. It was a bit gross with the live worm wriggling from the hook all sad and impaled, but it wasn’t hard. Once we both had lines in the water and beers in our hands, I looked over at him.

  “What happens now?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “We wait for the fish to bite, drink these beers, and talk.”

  “That’s all?”

  He laughed lightly. “What were you expecting? Sharks?”

  I smiled at him and shook my head. “Not in Lake Austin. I still can’t believe you called in sick to take me fishing.”

  “Maybe we both needed a break.” Something about his answer seemed evasive, but I didn’t push. He looked happy.

  “Did you grow up fishing?” I asked Ward after a few minutes of companionable silence. This was the most relaxed I think I’d ever seen him. He took a long sip of his beer before answering.

  “Yeah. With my grandfather. He would take me out sometimes for ‘man training’. Those were some of my favorite memories with him.”

  I tried to imagine little Ward fishing. I bet he was really excited about it.

  “What exactly does one learn during ‘man training’?” I questioned.

  Ward grinned. “All kinds of things. We went camping, fishing, and hunting, sure, but he also taught me some basic mechanic skills, gardening, how to tie a tie, how to dance, all that good stuff.”

  “That does sound like fun. My parents weren’t very outdoorsy. I was in Girl Scouts for about five minutes, but I hated every second of selling cookies.” Even the memory was cringe-worthy.

  “You were a shy kid, huh?” Ward guessed.

  I nodded. “Very.” Approaching strangers to push cookies on them had been mortifying for me. I sold exactly two boxes. One to my neighbor, and one to my teacher. My mom quickly got frustrated and told me if I wouldn’t ring the doorbells, I couldn’t stay a Girl Scout. By that point I was happy to hang up my uniform.

  “I was shy too,” Ward said, surprising me. “It wasn’t until I got to middle school and started getting any good at football that I came out of my shell.”

  “I have a hard time imaging you as shy,” I told him. Ward was the polar opposite of shy. He was the most extroverted person I think I’d ever met.

  “Well once I was out of the shell, I never went back. I wouldn’t have fit. I shot up about eight inches in two years.”

  Yikes. “That actually sounds painful.”

  “It was. It made my shins ache at night. But then I was taller than everybody and that was cool.”

  “I imagine you were pretty much king of your school, being a star football player and all that.”

  “It wasn’t bad, no.” Ward’s attempts at modesty were pretty weak. He looked pleased with himself.

  “Did you date the head cheerleader?” I asked teasingly.

  He grinned. “Maybe. Maybe her sister, too.”

  “Were you the Homecoming King? Prom King?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Class president?”

  He shook his head. “Nah. Too much work.”

  “Yeah it sounds like you had it really rough,” I told him.

  He smiled. Suddenly I sat forward, thinking I felt something on my line, but it was nothing. I giggled as I sat back. “F
alse alarm,” I told him. “No fish.” He grinned at me.

  “What about you?” Ward asked. “What were you like in high school?”

  “Besides shy? I was, um, incredibly studious and needlessly serious,” I said. “We probably wouldn’t have gotten along.”

  “And we get along now?”

  “Good point.” Although we were getting along fine right now.

  “I think I would have liked you in high school,” Ward said after a moment. “I’ve always had a thing for the super-sexy, no-nonsense type.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “I’m pretty sure I would have hated you. Popular guys have always irked me.”

  “Maybe I would have grown on you.”

  “Or maybe you wouldn’t have spent a second on me, since you had twenty cheerleaders to choose from.” Did my voice sound bitter? I felt that way.

  “Cheerleaders can get boring after a while,” Ward said lazily. “Always with the cheering, the giggling, and the pom-pom shaking.”

  “Isn’t that what most men like? Simple, pretty girls to worship them?”

  “I mean, yeah, absolutely. It was great while it lasted. I can’t speak for most men, but at least for me, it was all a lie. The second my football career fizzled, the girls disappeared. Including my fiancé.”

  “Oh,” I said softly. “Yeah Kate told me about that. I’m really sorry that happened to you.”

  “Don’t be. I’m better off,” Ward said with a shake of his head. “Jessie wanted to date a football star, not Ward Williams. We’re both really lucky she figured that out before she became Mrs. Ward Williams.”

  “I guess so,” I murmured. “Still sucks though.”

  “Yeah, it did,” Ward agreed. “There’s nothing quite like laying in a hospital bed knowing your entire world is ending when your girl up and dumps you. I loved her. She only loved the idea of me. The reality was apparently very disappointing to her.”

  “And I thought I had a good reason to have trust issues,” I remarked. That earned me a smirk.

  “On the upside, I don’t have to see her anymore. I haven’t seen her in years and probably never will again. Your ex followed you across the country.”